I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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