The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
