He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
