i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize
