We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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