i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
