from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
