i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize