He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
