He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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