i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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