we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I stole a fireplace last night.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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