So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
