if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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