I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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