He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
