so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
