just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize