so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
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I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
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my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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