how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
