and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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