meet me or not, i'm out of control
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
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I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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