guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize