i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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