I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
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