My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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