Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Randomize
