come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'm too high and old for this...
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
