What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
