last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
