I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
