just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
