hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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