Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
