Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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