I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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