i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
