Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
