I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize