When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
