I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Randomize
