how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
