Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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