My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
