im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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