I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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