Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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