I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
is that a dick in a sweater?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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