Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
