new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
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