My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
