Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
