We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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