it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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