you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize