Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Randomize
