Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
