So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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