Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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