I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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