A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
if only i could text you this smell
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
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