Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
