I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
